how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
