We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
All I want is dick and wine.
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