your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
