yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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