Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize