I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
