"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
