Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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