the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
