I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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