She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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