i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
