Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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