Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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