He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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