Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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