Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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