Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
