I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
