suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
