Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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