its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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