i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
