It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
