Screwed.edu
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
