listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize