Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize