Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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