Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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