I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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