Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
MIDGETS
????
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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