he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
