does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
