i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize