I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
