why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
