...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
