so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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