first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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