omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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