She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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