I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
