she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize