her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
