and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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