It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
