9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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