If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize