I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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