i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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