Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
