I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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