Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
