so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
