she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
