you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize