I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am one with the molecules
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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