Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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