i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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