I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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