How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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