The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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