the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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