I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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