good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
