I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
