So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
