a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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