I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
