the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The air was thick with penises
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize