Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
