So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
