I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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