before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
