NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
