this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
