Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
