He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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