but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize
