Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
