you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
His hands were made for my vagina.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
