Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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