My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
